Happy Birthday Izzy

Izzy's birthday is coming up soon.  I can't believe the time that has gone by.  It's just a few years, but it feels like a decade!  


This age is SO.MUCH.FUN!  I can't get enough of it!  This summer a shift took place and suddenly Izzy was telling me about things that had happened during the day.  Previously she mentioned wants (cracker, mom! milkie!), hurts (got a boo-boo!), or greetings (hi dad, bye gramma).  Then one night as we snuggled in her bed to read (snuggling is new too) she told me, "Allie the cat, hurt hand.  Hit hair."  She described a minor assault by my mom's cat the week earlier after Izzy lovingly cornered Allie to give her some quite undesired attention.  Allie bit her hand gently and swatted her in the head with her claw-free paw.  All week long I heard about the crime committed by "Allie the cat".  Izzy spoke of it more as a triumph than an insult.  She thought it was cool and loved retelling the story to me.  So began our conversations about events of the day.  


Izzy contributes such joy and wonder to my days.  Her imagination has bloomed this year.  She lives to be dressed up.  Whether it's her purple boots that transform her into an "Adel" when she puts them on her hands and crawls around bellowing like an elephant, or simply putting on her beloved lion costume she affectionately calls "tiger".  She has spent literally almost every day for two months wearing that costume for part or all of the day!  The latest development is Dr. Izzy.  She has assembled a doctor's bag (a lunch cooler) of various doctor implements (measuring cups and spoons, turkey baster, etc) that are used to take my temperature or administer shots to which I am requested to respond with an "Ow".  


She has grown into a loving sister.  One of my joys of life is seeing she and Addie sit across the dinner table and laugh together, usually at something Izzy is doing (pretending to sneeze is a favorite of Addie's).  It's true hilarity.  When Addie cries, Izzy has learned that she can sometimes be distracted by a toy or a book, and she knows and seeks out Addie's favorites.  This touches my heart.  I prayed for sisterly affection, and I really feel that the prayer was answered.  Of course, there are still bumps in that road, but for the most part, she's a keeper of her sister and I'm sure will become a protector as well.  


I could go on.  I don't have the time or energy (unfortunately) to detail the daily wonders that come from watching this sweet little girl.  I adore her and am so very thankful to God for putting her in our family.  Thankful that He is entrusting me with the incredible responsibility of taking care of her and guiding her as she blooms into the wonderful flower He has designed her to become.  I pray I can do the watering and provide the fertile soil for growth.  I pray that I can then stand back and let her grow on her own.  I thank Him that each year I see more of that flower unfold, showing her beautiful colors, shining in the sun and brightening the world around her.  Let your light shine, Izzy.  Happy Birthday, sweetie.

Addie Update

It just occurred to me yesterday that Addie closer to age one than zero.  How did this happen?  Can that be right?  It is.  She is a week shy of eight months old!  Just that number is shocking to me.

Addie is adjusting well to the world.  She's smiling a lot of the time.  Her favorite thing, besides being held, is sitting up by herself on the floor and playing with toys.  She absolutely hates being on her belly, just like Izzy did.  I think, like Izzy, Addie has a wee bit of reflux and it just doesn't feel good to be flat on her belly.  So she sits upright with the most perfect posture that I wish I could emulate.  She bends nearly in half like a yoga pro to grab the toys around her.  She could sit there for half an hour doing that.  I love seeing her at play like that.  She looks so confident and comfortable in her skin.  If Izzy is nearby she looks up on occasion to check to see what Izzy is up to (sometimes this is more of a self-defense move than mere curiosity!).

The sisters get along fabulously for the most part.  After 3pm, when Izzy is a bit tired, I keep a closer than usual eye on them.  Usually Addie is placed on higher ground during these evening hours.  In the early day Izzy delivers toys to her sister and gives hugs and kisses.  Later in the day Izzy looks at her and I suspect thinks, "I'm getting sort of tired of her.  It would be pretty funny to see her tip over."  Ah, such is life with two littles. 

I'm so eager to see them play together when they are older!  Right now some of the sweetest moments are when they look at each other and both giggle.  I love to see that connection!  One of my most cherished relationships is with my sister and I'm so very happy that they have that. 

Sometimes my heart breaks for Addie as she looks longingly at what Izzy is doing and I can tell she wants in on it.  I can see that in the same way I was a primary influence for Izzy, she is going to be one for Addie.  That gaze of Addie's just follows her and I can see the wheels turning, perhaps thinking, "I want to do that too!  How can I get my hands on that toy?"  It's going to be interesting once Addie is mobile and can follow up those desires with action!  I have a feeling this book is going to be great help in days to come!

Yup, it's hard to believe time has flown by so fast.  It's strange to see Addie drinking water from a sippy cup and knowing that soon her backwards floor scoot will be a forward crawl- or maybe she'll go straight to walking to keep up with Izzy?  It's both strange and wonderful.  I wish I had a pause button so I could soak up every little second and not let it go by too fast!  I guess I just have to work some pauses into every day and cherish them!

Hope you all are doing well.

What has helped Addie nap better, courtesy of Dr Weissbluth

So here is a brief summary of where we were and what got us to where we are. 

Addie did not nap.  She "passed out" for 25 minutes at a time, about twice a day.  So we read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and did the following steps based on instructions from the book....

• Wake up Addie at 7 am.  This helps establish some regularity and gets her close to a schedule that works with baby's natural nap times, 9 am and 1 pm.
• Make the room bright and full of sunshine.  This helps baby set this on her internal clock as "awake" time, thus helping her realize it's different than sleep time.
• Put her down for first nap within one to two hours of wake up time.  In the beginning, she seemed to need to go down within an hour of getting up.  I suspect this was because of being overly tired and needing to catch up on rest.  Now it's closer to two hours.  
• When deciding when to put her down I watched her sleep signals more than the clock.  The clock gave me a rough idea of when she might be tired, but then I watched her.  She gets quiet, moves less, and sucks her fingers when she begins to get tired.  The next stage includes being agitated, especially when I walk away from her.  She also may start to get noisy again, in a sort of yelling way.  If I miss all these signs she gets sort of frantic, moving about a lot and getting a nervous but smiley laugh / cry thing going.  Poor baby.
• Put her down for her second nap within two to three hours of waking for the first one.  This is almost always within two hours for her.  
• Before all naps I nurse her and swaddle her legs and put a light sleep sack on over her.  I do the sack partly for warmth but also in case she gets herself unswaddled-- then the swaddle is caught in the sack and not out for her to wrap around her head.  
• Put her down for an optional third nap around 4:30 - 5:30-ish.  This carries her through until bedtime at 8pm (or so I think-- we are still trying to sort this out).
• The entire while I  keep a sleep log to help figure out what works for her.  

The thing that's missing from the Weissbluth method is crying.  I will let her fuss for up to 10 minutes.  Dr Weissbluth would say to let her cry for up to an hour at nap time and then indefinitely at bedtime.  I've found that when we got her to bed before she was overtired though, there isn't much crying.  So when she just doesn't go down I let her cry for ten minutes.  If she's not asleep after that we just get her up and keep her awake until the next nap time, or a little earlier.  Those are anxious times for me because I worry we'll get back into that overtired, no nap cycle.  So far, missing one nap hasn't been a permanent problem.  She always seems to start new with the next nap and the rest of the day goes well.


To summarize, the key for us was to, especially at first, get her in bed at the beginning of her sleepy signals.  That seemed to result in the least amount of protest.  It was counter-intuitive to me because I used to think the more tired she was the easier she would go down-- but it's quite the opposite, just like Dr Weissbluth explains.

God Grant Me the Serenity...

..to accept the things I can't change.  Courage, to change the things I can.  And the wisdom to know the difference.

That's been my prayer for awhile, and more so lately with this sleep stuff.  We've hit a bit of a crossroads. 

Naps are great (knock on wood!).  Addie has two naps-- one at about 8:30, the second at about 12:30.  Both last an hour and forty-five minutes to sometimes over two hours.   A third nap seems to be needed and when that happens she naps about 45 minutes to an hour. So, she naps about a total of at least four hours a day.  The nap pattern coincides with what Dr Weissbluth said about some kids needing more naps than others, a mix of short and long naps. 

Bedtimes have been hard to figure out.  We tried skipping that third nap and putting her to bed when our toddler goes down, about six pm.  But no matter what naps have happened that day, no matter what combo or length of naps, she wakes every forty minutes or so if we put her to bed before 8pm.  My mom says this is because  6-10 pm is considered babies "social hour".  They just seem to be programmed to want to stay awake.  There seems to be some truth to that in our case.  So right now we are focusing on making sure that third nap happens, even if it's as late as 5:30.  Then when she wakes we are bringing her downstairs until between 8 and 8:30pm.  Every time she goes down around that time she stays asleep at least 2-3 hours.  I even crawled into bed without waking her at all last night. 

The glitch is that between 7 and 8 last night she seemed really tired.  Also, at 4 am she did her usual wake up and want to stay awake talking and such.  Fortunately I just had her nurse some more and then she fell off back to sleep. 

The crossroads I'm at is having tried all that I can to make nighttime rest a bit more, uh, restful.  I really don't want to let her cry.  I tried it for a bit and it made me sick to do it.  That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever consider it.  I would be willing to try it briefly if we really needed to in order to help her establish a pattern that gives her the rest that she needs. 

So that's the question.  Is she getting enough nighttime sleep?  I'm going to continue on for a week or so and make that third nap a regular occurrence, and keep her up until 8pm after that.  We'll see how it goes.  I'm also going to ask the pediatrician today what she thinks.  I'm also going to continue to go to bed early because when I'm unhappy from nightwakings I generally, albeit inadvertantly, spread my less-than-joyful mood to the rest of the family. 

So that's where we are.  I'm going to write a quick summary today in a separate post about what HAS worked from the HSHHC book.  Mostly because of an online poster who is experiencing a similiar problem with sleep deprivation in her eight month old.  I hope sharing this helps a bit!

She's come undone

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but that's how it feels.  I haven't been following this Weissbluth Method exactly.  I've been doing my best to get Addie down before she's overly tired and just hoping I don't have to let her cry at all.  Well, there's been more tears since Friday.  Last night I knew she had to be tired so put her to bed early-- no luck.  This girl doesn't want to go to bed before 8pm.  She took a one hour nap and awoke at 7:30.  The next two hours were a mix of letting her cry, me crying and considering giving the children up for adoption because I feel like a terrible mom, and comforting her.  Finally around 9:30 I went to bed held her and she was asleep in thirty seconds.  She would only stay alseep if I stayed with her.  I was so exhausted that I went to sleep too.  The rest of the night was fairly typical, but with a few more wakeup than usual.

Today the morning started at 6 am.  I put her down at the very first sign of fatigue-- knowing that she hadn't had much sleep last night and she had gotten up on the early side of normal.  She didn't want to go to sleep.  She cried.  And cried.  I finally got her up, played with her and then watched her yawn and get glossy eyed and start to get fussy.  I put her down at 8:30 and she cried for a couple minutes and then took her overtired typical 25 minute not-really-a-nap nap.  Ugh. 

Right now I'm following the book and allowing her to cry for another 30 minutes.  I'm terrible, right?

I feel like I've been on the fence.  Trying to do the program without really doing the program.  But what if it doesn't work, I let her cry and then she starts to hate her bed, or sleeps worse?  When we started, it really couldn't get worse as far as nap times go.

Now I feel I know when she is tired.  There's no doubt.  I'm putting her down with a know she's tired.  I know this because I've written down every nap for a week.  So I also know when she's overtired.  The problem is, when she's overtired, what am I willing to do about it?

Right now, my brain is shot.  I'm tired.  I'm rather depressed.  And I feel like a horrible mom in general. 

I may just go with the Weissbluth method and try it full force.  For naps, at least.  I'm going to comfort at bedtime because nighttime sleep is regulated by a different part of the brain than nap sleep.  So one won't mess up the other.  I have the luxury of comforting her more at night.  Once Jeff returns to work and it's me with a toddler and baby I don't have that luxury.  Even if I did, it didn't work to keep her asleep.  It only got her to sleep.

I can't go back to having her nap 40 minutes a day.  It's not healthy.  I know at least that for sure.

I'm doubting everything else.  But I know that for sure.

D is for Distraught, Determined and Delighted

Yesterday morning was rough. At the end of my last post Addie was overtired and crying. I ended the post determined to let her cry for another half hour. I published the post. Prayed. And then ran upstairs to get her. So much for determination!

I'm not sure if that was an answered prayer or just the only response I could consider once I was quiet and the distractions ceased. Regardless, it's what I did. I went upstairs and nursed her to sleep. She slept for twenty-five minutes-- her typical nap length when she is overtired. I was disappointed, dismayed, discouraged and a wee hit distraught.

I kept her up until the next nap, which is 2-3 hours after the first nap for most babies, according to Dr Marc. I knew she absolutely had to sleep this time. My determination returned, out of sheer necessity for her to get the sleep she needed.

I had to use this window to go get my husband's birthday meal and dessert. There was no other time to do it. The poor man is so sacrificing and plays second fiddle so often that I couldn't postpone this trip. I knew my daughter needed to sleep and I knew I had to run this one errand.

Without even really thinking it through I told Jeff that he could let her cry until 1:22, one full hour, but to try to listen to when she fell asleep so I would know. I planned to be back within that hour. She had a dry diaper and a full belly.

Izzy and I headed out to the store. I tried to listen to some music in the car to distract me. We went to the restaurant and ordered Jeff's lunch and Lemon Meringue Pie. We played a bit while waiting. I wanted to call home and check in but then I remembered we had turned he ringer off on the phone so as to avoid waking Addie. I considered that maybe that was a good thing. If she was still crying there was nothing I could do from the other side of town. We hopped in the car and headed home. As we got closer, guilt set in. It was the kind of guilt that you feel when you break curfew. It approaches near your return home, and it's the sort of guilt that makes you feel like you really disappointed someone you love.

When we got home Jeff told me the good news. She whined a bit for only eight minutes! Woo hoo! I was thrilled. She was still asleep and continued to nap until after 2 pm, an hour and forty minutes-- the typical length of her "good" naps. I was delighted.

She went down for her third nap with zero protest. It was tricky determining when to put her down for bed and I brought her back down a couple times. Finally when I put her down she yelled once and went back to sleep. I noted that on the earlier attempts that she talked and played for a bit before protesting-- a confirmation that the morning's crying did not leave her scared of her bed-- this had been a concern of mine.

I'm not thrilled I had to leave her to cry. But I'm sort of glad that it happened. It's going to be impossible to get her down to nap before she's overtired every single day, four times a day. I'm aiming for perfect but I know there will be days like yesterday where I miss the signs, or we have to be somewhere during nap time or something wakes her early. I'm glad to know we will survive it.

I'll write some more posts about some of the details of this process soon. I did not follow Dr Marc's crying suggestions but the other material in the book was such a help. I want to write it out to share with other Mommas with tired babies. I thank God for this book that was part of God's loving answer to my desperate prayer.

Here's a picture of the notepad that I used this past week to take notes on every nap. This worked really well and helped a ton when I was considering when to attempt naps. I could look back and see how long she stayed awake between naps earlier in the week.

Timing the naps perfectly

Yesterday was perfect.  I felt it was a bit of, again, a miracle.  Addie went down for her 1st nap within an hour of getting up at 6am.  She slept an hour and then needed to go back down within an hour.  This meant that both of her two naps were over by 10:45 am.  We wrote off that first nap as her basically just going back to bed since she had had a rather rough night because I had put her to bed overtired.  I had nursed her to sleep but she woke hourly due to being in that overtired state.  The blessing in all of this was that her second nap (technically her third) could happen at a more normal time-- about 1 pm. 

She took the 1pm nap and then also a one hour nap at 4:30.  This 4:30 nap was needed.  I get the feeling that she will fall into the 16% of six month olds that need this late afternoon shut eye. 

She was playing happily until bedtime.  I tried to put her down at 7:45 but she cried.  So I brought her down because I figured the cry was more about the bedtime being too early rather than too late.  Then I took her up at 8:15 and laid down with her.  She nursed and then drifted off to sleep.  And boy did she sleep!

She woke at 10:45 and I crawled into bed with her for the night.  Then she only nursed one more time, I think, all night until she woke at about 6:30 am.  Perfect!

It all went fabulously.  I'm convinced that getting her to bed BEFORE she's too tired is the absolute key to avoiding crying.

That being said...today sucks so far.  Today I thought I would try to stretch her morning wakeful period a little longer-- in hopes of getting it closer to two hours.  She was sucking her fingers but still a bit interested in her surroundings.  Also, she hadn't made any fussy sounds.  So after an hour and a half of being up I bundled her up and took her up.   She cried after a couple minutes so I headed back up and nursed her to be sure she was full.  I saw a big yawn and glossy eyes.  She's tired, right?  I laid her back down and she is currently upstairs crying (I'm crying too, in the basement). 

I'm turning it around in my head.  I'm confused.  Did I put her down too early?  That just can't be, right?  She yawned.  That's the beginning of the really sleepy stage.  She had been sucking her fingers for at least a half an hour.  I just don't know.  If I had to guess, I would say, based on how long she has stayed up after waking the past four days that she is tired.  The only glitch is that last night was the best night's sleep she's had in awhile.  But then again, she went to sleep at 8:30 and woke at 6:30am.  So, really, I'm pretty sure I kept her up too long.  I was in the middle of cooking my husband's birthday breakfast and paid as much attention toher every move as I could while not burning his food (which I still did, by the way). 

So, the inevitable has happened.  The tears.  I knew in the back of my head that something would eventually interfere with getting Addie down before she was overtired.  And, to avoid wrecking her entire schedule and having an overly tired baby, I would need to let her be and let her cry.  I knew it.  And so it is.

So it's my mess up.  And she's paying for it.  Almost half an hour of crying so far.  I'm not sure I can or should keep going.  I'm going to go the full hour.  Because I really trust Dr Marc.  It seems strange to trust a stranger that wrote a book, I know.  But I also know that my baby who napped 25-40 minutes a day now naps 3-4 hours a day and had her first good sleep in ages last night.  And I know that if I go up now I'm going to mess up the week of getting this girl on a schedule.  And by mess up, I mean FURTHER mess up, as my first mistake was having her get overtired.

This is all live and learn.  I'm going to try the full hour cry that Dr Marc suggests.  I may regret it and never do it again.  I may never have to do it again.  The handful of trusted friends who let their babies cry said it happened maybe a day or two.  Ugh.  I feel literally physically sick at that thought!  I need to stop thinking about that.  I can survive this one hour.  Addie can survive it.  I'm not sure what the rest of the day holds though. 

I know this can be done without tears.  At least for one day.  If this cry doesn't correct the schedule that we worked so hard to get to then I will have to go back to square one.  And try it again.  With no more tears perhaps.

I gotta go pray.

Trying for That Third Nap (or early bedtime)

The first half of the day has been great lately.  Addie takes two naps but is awake by 1pm.  This is ideally the time that the second nap should be beginning-- not ending.  I suspect it's because of the nights not going so peacefully.  So we are on a new vicious cycle perhaps of a restful morning followed by an overtired evening followed by night wakeups that have nothing to do with hunger. 

At night we cosleep because it makes breastfeeding easier and I'm much more rested.  (We follow all the safety guidelines which make it safer than crib sleep, which is another bonus).  Nights aren't so much the problem as are evenings.  At night she rolls over toward me and we both fall back asleep as she nurses.  When she's done she rolls back over and I fall asleep on my back.  But during the early evening it takes a lot of rocking, patting and holding to get her to sleep.  Sometimes holds her for hours to get her through that wakefulness.  She always wakes crying and agitated.  Not hungry, just mad.  We used to think it was gas but her digestive system has matured enough that we now know that's not the cause.  Also, the first night of the new nap schedule, when she had that third nap, she went to bed happily and stayed alseep until she was hungry.  So we know it needs to change.

I will post tomorrow as to how things go. 

We are also trying to re-establish an afternoon nap for our toddler who has been having a restful video time since she gave up her afternoon nap.  We also moved her bedtime up which helped a lot but I suspect she could use actual sleep in the afternoon and want to try to give more of a chance to have that.  That will be Jeff's job.  Good luck, honey!

Sleep Sweet Sleep

Note:  This is a looonngggg post, mostly written for other moms who may want to hear how we have helped a non-napping baby make a big change, by the Grace of God.  I'm going to make some shorter follow-up posts as things progress, but here's the background....

We hit a crisis state last week in regard to Addie's sleep-- or should I say, lack of sleep.  Her naps had diminished from bad to worse with her sleeping about 40 minutes a day.  Her naps have never been good, but this is really, really bad.  I could get her to sleep but she never napped more than 25 minutes.  I could bake a cake by her nap time it was was so exact.  I tried stroller naps and car naps.  Taking an hour long detour to grocery store located 7 miles away was becoming ridiculous, and was no longer working.  Near the end of last week I was literally on my face on the floor begging God for help.  I felt lost.  None of my many books helped.

Then I remembered a book that I had considered and dismissed a few weeks early.  It's called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr Marc Weissbluth.  I had read that it had great ideas and that although it advocated letting kids "cry it out", it had lots of solutions to try before getting to that point.  I read the reviews and was horrified by the description of the cry it out method he suggests, horrifically named "extinction".  I quickly removed the book from my library list.  But after weeks with no improvement, and this book title coming to mind again after my prayer, I decided I had to give it a shot.  Boy, am I glad I did! 


My daughter who formerly slept 40 minutes a day now naps for a total of 3-4 hours!  That sentence that I just wrote still leaves me in awe.  I did not think it was possible.  And, so far, we have accomplished this with zero tears.  How?

Well, Dr Marc is really big on getting kids to nap before they are overly tired.  He wants them in bed before that "second wind" kicks in.  It's that second wind that makes bedtime dramatic and tear-filled.  I was stunned to read that if my six month old gets up at 7 am she should be in bed no later than 9am.  Maybe even 8 am depending on her temperament.  So I committed to Addie's naps being my first priority and we began with what Dr Marc considers the most important nap of the day, the 9 am one.  Addie was back in bed within an hour or so of getting up.  And she went to bed smiling, sucking her fingers happily (a new development) and snuggling her baptism gift, a sheep lovey.  And she slept.  And slept.  And slept.  Almost two hours the first day.  Jeff and I looked at each other in disbelieft.  It had been at least three months since she had napped so long!  Then came the second nap. I was careful not to miss the sleepy window and got her to bed by noon...for the second nap!  This really was strange to me as I thought that kids' second naps were afternoon naps, as in "after" noon.  Dr Marc says this second one starts between noon and three, depending on the baby.  Addie slept again.  For two more hours.  I was speechless.

Later that day she fell asleep in the car for an hour.  This was a LOT of sleep for her!  Dr Marc had said that when you start this program  your baby may seem more tired than she had because the adrenaline is gone and she's experiencing the fatigue that has been hidden by the constant state of having a "second wind".  I knew he was right. By day three though, the fatigue lifted.

My worse fear with the lack of sleep was that it was going to slow her development.  By day three of this new schedule she had rolled over for the first time!  What a confirmation that we are on the right track!

That first day she also went to bed happily at 8pm.  Jeff and I didn't quite know what to do with ourselves.  We had been holding her to help her through her early night wakeups for the past six months.  We didn't know the cause of the wakeups but now we realized it was that adrenaline pumping through her overtired system.  That night we looked at each other several times, smiled and said "What do we do now?"  (The answer was, watch "Masterchef" :).

The road hasn't been without bumps.  That late afternoon third nap, which 16% of babies her age need, hasn't happened peacefully since day one.  So I've skipped it, thinking she's not in the 16%.  But the past two nights bedtime has not been peaceful and she's been waking hourly until midnight.  Now I know that it's because she needs that third nap, or a very early bed time (as in, 5pm).

So today I may have to use the technique that I was thankful to have avoided-- letting her cry.  Dr Marc says to let her cry for up to an hour when attempting a nap.  I'm not sure I can do this.  I experimented a bit with it last night at midnight when she was wide awake.  I had to walk away because I had been attempting naps or rocking her down since 3:30 pm.  I came downstairs and she yelled in protest for fifteen minutes until a real cry started.  I went in and rocked her.  She was peacefully asleep within minutes.  Faster and more peaceful than I had ever seen her drift off, oddly.  Then she slept for six hours.  Another first.

When Izzy was born I vowed I would never let a baby cry to sleep.  I read tons of attachment parenting books that said to avoid it and gave alternatives.  These alternatives were fairly time-consuming but it was time that I had.  Looking back, I don't think Izzy got enough sleep though, even with the rocking, etc.  And now with two, I don't have the ability to rock a baby down for half an hour in a quiet room-- there are no quiet rooms with a toddler on the loose!

So I'm at a crossroads where I simply have to choose a little crying over a baby who is quite literally sleep-deprived, which she was.  I mean that in the most clinical sense.  My baby was literally not getting enough sleep to function as she needed to.  This breaks my heart.  And it breaks my heart that perhaps Izzy hasn't gotten enough over the past couple years.  She got more than Addie.  But I'm not sure it was enough. 

Did I mention that Dr Marc also discusses toddler naps?  :)

Next up....what we are trying today to try to get that third nap to happen or at least not have her overtired by bedtime.  Also, our attempt at re-establishing a nap for our toddler.  Prayers welcome and appreciated :)

T is for Thankful

Today we are thankful! Yesterday was Izzy's annual heart appointment. It went well. And the words "optimistic" and "hopeful" were used by our wonderful doc. So anytime that happens I'll call it good! Of course, our doc is also a mom with a new baby (4 mo old) at home so she may also have been so tired that she thought she was at Chili's for dinner and was talking about what she ordered. But she reported she had had two cups of coffee and was doing fine. Still, sorta glad we weren't talking about surgery as I would have had to he sure her baby was sleeping through the night first. The summary of the visit is below. The pic above is of Izzy and Jeff with the Big Bird statue at Mott's. Overall it was a blast for her. She got stickers-- that they put on her belly to attach wires to in order to listen to her heart. Then she got to watch a new Elmo DVD which thankfully put her into a hypnotic trance while she had to lie still for 45 minutes during the echo. I still feel like I witnessed a miracle that that part went so well! Then she got a piggy back ride around the pediatric cardiology floor while we waited to see the doc. Then Jeff bought her panda stickers in the gift shop. It was all followed by a lollipop and a walk over to see the Big Bird statue! And Addie slept through almost all of it. All in all, it was more exciting and fun than a non-hospital day around here- not that that means I want more hospital trips. I found my heart breaking for the moms who were discussing heart surgery with their docs, and for all those I know struggling with sick kids. My prayers go out to them. Thank you to all who prayed for Izzy, that the visit
would go smoothly and that we would get good news-- answered prayers. We thank God.

Here's are the details, copied from an email I sent yesterday...

The hole hasn't closed. It has closed partially. The Dr was surprised it's still so open since last year they couldn't hear it at all. But since they did the echo this year they could definitely see it that it's still there.

She said that we don't need surgery in the "foreseeable future" and that she is holding out hope that it will close the rest of the way. Even if it doesn't close in the next two years she may not recommend surgery as the hole doesn't seem to be causing any distress for the heart (no enlargement or valve problems).

So we go back in two years at which time they will likely make a surgery decision either way. Sounds like the odds are in our favor that no surgery will be needed. I sure hope that that is the case!

Nap on Wheels

Some trips are, well, long. It takes having a baby or toddler to make a two day vacation feel like a week.

That being said, we had a great Fourth of July in Indy. But we had some cracked-out tired kids! I was a bit ill-prepared for the nap issue. I brought along all the nighttime sleep aids-- blankie, pacifiers (although Izzy forgot to use the paci-yay!), Violet the musical dog, and the portable glowing mushroom. Oh, and Addie's sound machine. In the end izzy simply passed out Friday night from fatigue while watching Curious George. She had almost four hours less sleep than usual. When we arrived at my dad's Saturday morning I felt a storm was brewing, even though the skies were clear.

I suddenly realized I had a toddler who had 3-4 hours less sleep than usual and a baby who had slept late enough that she hadn't had her morning nap before we arrived. I couldn't enjoy myself pondering when I was going to see the fallout from this. Having gotten very little sleep myself, my anxiety was a bit heightened.

So I relied on the ol' standby. The nap on wheels (hummed to the tune of a certain Thrill Kill Cult song). I loaded up the crabby exhausted tots and took off. Within literally sixty seconds, they were both asleep. I was still grumpy so I pulled over under a shady tree and closed my eyes while listening to the radio. Then we drove some more. Forty-five minutes and ten dollars in gas later everyone was a bit more rested and happy. Best ten bucks I've ever spent.

Not an ideal parenting strategy, I know. But it's one of our survival tools that just needs to be used once in awhile. If I could have a redo, I'm not sure I would have done things much differently. Right now in our house we are going through nap limbo with Izzy. She needs a nap but won't go down. She goes to bed earlier but still really needs a nap. With having a baby in tow it's tricky having time to get Izzy into a nap. I wouldn't have wanted to take that all on while out of our normal environment. In my redo, though, I may have set up a nap setting for Addie, but I was too tired to think of that. Usually she can get by being worn and sleeping in the baby carrier, but I wasn't going to do that in 95 degrees!!

So we did our best and everyone got what they needed. That's what parenting is sometimes, just doing our best in the moment when our best laid plans fail, or in my case, when I had no plan at all!

It's probably no surprise to tell you that our drive home conversation was comprised mostly of dreaming about the day when all the kids are old enough that we can go on a kid-free vacation (get ready for the drop-off, grandparents!) I just hope I will still be young enough to be seen in a bathing suit by then :).

Memory snapshot

One of my favorite happenings this week was Father's Day. Jeff wore the tie that Izzy made him in toddler class. Everywhere we went complete strangers were complimenting him! Church, the grocery store, pet store, etc. I'm not exaggerating when I say at least fifteen people said something. I think it made him feel like a celebrity. That's how all dad's should feel on Father's Day!

Other moments I want to capture and bottle up...

Izzy singing to me in the bath tub after I sang to her. It went something like, "Oo..book... duck... ooo.. ..ooo... the end!! Yay!!!"


The quote of the week came from my adorable four year old niece, Tessa, when she explained that Addie wasn't hungry so she didn't want to nurse... "The baby wasn't hungry so she didn't eat Aunt Stephanie's bra."

Izzy is not-so-mildly obsessed with Curious George. Today I overheard her asking one of her stuffed animals if she could watch a video. She got an enthusiastic Yes! from the animal.

Why My Hubby is an Awesome Dad

Why you are an awesome dad...

You take Izzy on "flights" almost daily.

You take on evening time with Addie and actually enjoy it.

You change diapers.

You stay home with us, a lot.

You bring home the bacon even though it's exhausting.

You get up early with kids when you know their mom has had a rough night.

You readily agreed to sell your car for a minivan (I know, I know, the title says "station wagon")

You kill spiders for us.

You spray bees for us (and do it the less toxic but probably more pain-in-the-butt way so your kids can have a safe lawn to play on barefoot)

You have supported the healthy food changes in this house without complaint.

You help with dinner, or even make all of it for us sometimes.

You fingerpaint with Izzy despite the crazy mess!!

You were so crazy proud to introduce your kids to your coworkers.

You get up with Izzy when she's scared at night.

You finished reading a book with Izzy tonight when I had to nurse Addie...and then you read it a second time!

Piggyback rides. 'Nuff said.

Laundry and toy cleanup- taking on two tasks that grow exponentially with kids.

You help me get back on track when I'm feeling like an overwhelmed mommy.

You pray with and for the kids.

You spend more time in the sun than you want to so that Izzy can have fun outside.

You are excited to get the Father's Day gift that Izzy made for you in class.

I totally blew your Father's Day surprise and you just hugged me and smiled and said Thank You!

The list goes on, but it's 4 am and I can't think. By the way, you are sleeping next to me right now even though this is the noisiest room in the house at night, due to baby wake ups.

You rock! And we love you very much!

Happy Father's Day!

Toddler Bully?

Tomorrow is our last day of tot class for this semester. I'm dreading it somewhat. Here's why...

I didn't realize there was such a thing as toddler "bullying". Preschool maybe, but toddler?! I don't want to label Tommy permanently as a bully, but I'm afraid that is his behavior that I will most remember about him.

Last Thursday in our Mommy and Me class, Tommy pushed Izzy. It wasn't your average push. He locked his sights on her and charged. She ran. I tried to intercept but didn't make it in time. Izzy was slammed into a wall. And I was facing Tommy and said, quite firmly, "That's unacceptable!". And by firmly, i mean it was almost a yell. It wasn't an ideal response, but it was mild compared to how my mama bear instincts wanted to respond. (think Kung-Fu ninja)

It seems we are moving into the age where Izzy's peers aren't as sweet as they used to be, and I'm really struggling with how to react. I absolutely don't blame the kids, or even the parents in most cases. Kids will be kids. They are learning. But Tommy's mom just doesn't seem to care, which drives me nuts. I can't tell other parents what to do (and believe me, I have a litany of ideas for this particular mom!). So I'm left with the only thing that I can control: how I respond. In theory, anyway.

The teacher and another mom gave me a great tip, though. Teach Izzy how to put her hand out and say STOP! They said it usually alarms the attacker enough that they stop and give me time to intervene. Also, it gives Izzy back some power.

And that's what I really want. She's going to run into this so much (and sometimes she'll be the offender). I want her to not feel the victim.

We went home and re-enacted the scene with Stuffed animals. When Curious George told Mickey the Moose, "Stop Tommy!" Izzy went over to the moose and said "it's okay, Tommy.". She did that in class too. At the end of class she brought Tommy a toy.

I've pondered that a lot since that class. I ultimately want her to remain the loving, empathetic girl that she is.

I hope I can be that forgiving at our next class .

Memory Keeper

The girls are changing so fast. Since I don't do baby books, this blog is serving as one of the main memory keepers. So I thought I would use a post to make a few notes about things that I've noticed lately and want to remember later...

1. Izzy tried to feed Addie a cheese quesadilla today. Izzy likes for us all to enjoy any food she particularly likes (especially Popsicles, lollipops and cheese). More and more, she wants Addie to enjoy these too.

2. There are tons of sisterly snuggles right now. Izzy hugs Addie and they both giggle. Addie just developed this belly laugh that gets set off by Izzy's hugs or my tickles or my friend Shannon tickling her belly. It's the sweetest giggle ever! And Izzy is the sweetest big sister ever!

3. Izzy is loving all things outdoors. Sometimes when that fresh air hits her she just runs and laughs. Our "run"'usually takes us down the path to visit Sunny, the neighbors' dog. Izzy calls "SUNNNEEEE" before we are within 500 feet of the house:). When she was one year old she used to bark at the dog. The neighbors told me once at church that the dad went out to see why Sunny was barking. He came back in and said in a surprised fashion, "That wasn't Sunny barking, that was a little girl!". Lol! I love that story!

After seeing Sunny, Izzy usually leads the three of us (Addie often passed out in Ergo carrier) to see the ducks at the nearby apartment complex. She gets soooo excited over this! She talks to them a lot..."Hi duck, hi goose!".

4. Addie is teething and using her tongue to rub and comfort her sore gums. She looks like a lizard for most of the day. It's hilarious to watch. I just got out the teethers yesterday. I'm mildly OCD when it comes to germs. Having a baby who will want to put everything in her mouth and a toddler that touches everything with her usually dirty hands is going to test my wits. Yesterday Izzy wiped her runny nose with the baby's cloth wrist rattle. It's gonna be a long year...

5. I just feel so blessed to get to spend time with my girls and Jeff. Undeserving and blessed.

Oh and if anyone didn't get a copy of Izzy eating an apple in her sleep, let me know and I will forward it on. Jeff's hoping it wins America's Funniest Home Videos so he won't have to teach summer school :). (we find out tomorrow if he gets a summer school job- fingers crossed, prayers said!).

Hope everyone is doing well. Thx for reading:)

Sleepy Sleep

Izzy recently moved into her toddler bed. It happened without protest and rather-- surprisingly--gracefully. We had to discard her crib mattress (long story) so we didn't have much of a choice. She was happy and excited, literally giggling with joy as we left her to slumber in her "new bed". I was heart broken. Well, I was happy too. I suffered from that feeling of watching my kids grow up and wanting to find a pause button. My daughter had bravely left the safety and security of her crib, where we had put her every night and every nap for most of her life.

I was thankful that it went so well, of course. Lately, I've been trying to bring nearly everything to God in prayer (having two kids has brought me to my knees in a good way, I guess.) And this transition felt like an answer. She had such confidence! I would like to think it had something to do with our bedtime parenting but without extensive research with double-blind studies of twins with matching DNA, I will never know. We never made bedtime a punishment and on only very few occasions left her to cry in her crib. That meant a little less free time for us and a lot more energy in helping her calm down. Without a DVR, it sometimes meant missing the first fifteen minutes of The Office, something she will have to somehow make up to us later. It meant lots of precious, wonderful moments of rocking and singing, too. And many late night bottle deliveries (we would pack a cooler each night and take it to our room as if we were going on a picnic). Eventually those stopped and we only had nighttime visits once in a great while.

Her new independence leaves me wondering if we should have co-slept longer. We tried it for about three months when we first moved. It helped during Izzy's adjustment to a new home, but ended promptly when I awoke to her trying to crawl off the end of the mattress. Too much nighttime excitement for me! She moved back into her crib without protest. Still, I hope that when the girls are older they will want to crawl back into bed with their old folks and cuddle for a bit.

I'm reminded of something my nephew Ty recently said to my sister Regan as he was going to sleep in her bed. He said, "Momma, you know why I like sleeping with you? Because I don't have as many bad dreams. And if I do have a bad dream I know you are right here and I feel better." I hope, partly for selfish reasons, that one day we will be that safe harbor for our girls. Until then, I will be thankful for their confidence in facing brave new worlds like the "new bed".

Sick Little One

Poor Pumpernickel. We awoke last night to her crying. When I went in I found she had thrown up...a lot. She still doesn't feel good this morning. She can't even keep Pedialyte down. So we are watching Kipper the Dog on Netflix via our Roku (so thankful for the Roku on days like this!).

I'm surprised we've dodged the stomach bugs for two years-- surprised and thankful! It's strange though after two years to feel unprepared for a day like this. Last night I was a bit stumped as to what to do. She was pretty messy. Throw her in the tub? I tried to imagine myself getting sick and someone tossing me in the bathtub...that dismissed that idea. Instead I soaped up a towel and wiped her down. Then we poured water over head while she laid on the changing table. That sentence sounds like some kind of water-boarding, but it wasn't that bad. She actually didn't mind. Afterward I put my hairgel in her hair to cover up the scent. She said, "Oooooo, nice!" then she requested going back to bed. She's Such a sweet little girl, even when she feels so bad.

It's weird having one kid sick while the baby needs so much attention. I wish I could cuddle with Pumpernickel but Chowder just doesn't want to nap except in the Ergo. But P is happy with her toddler couch (as you can see), her Kipper and Curious George. And I can fold laundry while wearing C-- and there's a lot of it to fold since last night!

Here's to hoping it's just the 12 hr flu, and that all of my breastfeeding antibodies keep Chowder from catching the bug!

New Blog

I'm finally starting a family blog that I may stick with. I can't make any promises, but I would like to keep this blog for a few reasons:

As a family journal I can share with the girls when they are older, and especially when they have kids of their own.

As a way of keeping in touch with friends and family.

As a way of processing some of our parenting ways (attachment parenting, positive discipline, etc). These are just some of the things that have helped shape how we parent and I would like to share them in case they are helpful to someone else out there on the world wide web.

So, if this fits with our schedule, I will try to write regularly. The fact that it works with an app on my IPod greatly increases the odds:)

One note...because the blog is public, I'm changing our names and location to protect our privacy. If you leave a comment, please use our nicknames--thx!

Sincerely,
Me
Momma to two year old Pumpernickel and three month old Chowder, Wife to ??? (I'm going to let him pick a nickname tonight)