The Diagnosis

This week a terrible thing happened.  A thirteen year old girl died of anaphylaxis after accidentally eating peanut butter that frosted a rice krispie treat.  The scariest part is that once she ingested it, her parents did everything right.  They gave her Benedryl.  They monitored her.  When she began to vomit 20 minutes later, and have trouble breathing, they gave her the epi-pen. Three epi-pens.  Her father, a doctor, administered them. 

This story, for obvious reasons, has just rocked me.  I almost started crying at the grocery store yesterday as I perused items, as usual making sure my purchases were foods that had zero chance of ever having come into contact with peanuts or treenuts- not even at the factory.  I just felt, at that moment, like all of the wonderful precautions that I learned from other moms can't necessarily protect my daughter.  

Izzy was diagnosed just last summer with a life-threatening allergy to peanuts and tree nuts.  I'm what most would think of as an overprotective mom, I imagine.  I read (too many) parenting books.  I obsess about possibly not-that-important details of raising my kids.  I thought that this hyper-vigilant behavior would protect us from things like food allergies or other illness.  When I was pregnant I heard someone mention peanut allergies. It spurred me minutes later to look up online whether I should be avoiding peanuts.  I can tell you exactly where I was sitting when I googled this.  It was only feet away from the kitchen area of my office, where I had been happily eating a peanut butter sandwich at least once a day for three months -- it was one of the only things to get me through my morning sickness.  Online I read that people with environmental allergies (trees, grass, etc) should probably avoid eating peanuts while pregnant.  No one had ever told me this! I thought, well, I can start now.  People will think I'm being my usual hypervigilant self, I said to myself, but missing peanuts for six months won't kill me.  So I never ate another peanut until after she was born, and assumed this bought us immunity to such a diagnosis.

Then one day, three years later, I really wanted my kiddo to have a little more protein in her treats.  However, I couldn't get her to eat a simple pj & j.  So I concocted a plan one Saturday morning.  I baked up a batch of peanut butter banana muffins.  She loved muffins so I figured this would be a slam dunk in getting her to change her mind on the ol' peanut butter.  She didn't trust that the muffin was something she would like.  I can still see her nose scrunching up as she brought it to her lips, stuck out her teeth like she was smiling, and took the smallest bite humanly possible.  A few flakes of muffin touched her tongue, she tasted the peanut butter and immediately spit it out all over the table.  Fail.  I cleaned it up and started to put away the dishes.  About 20 minutes later she threw up. Everywhere.  It was more vomit than what should come out of a three year old!  Minutes after that, she was bouncing on an air mattress that we had in the living room.  I remember thinking, how can she possibly have a stomach virus if she's doing gymnastics in the living room minutes after vomiting like that?

In my classic Stephanie way, I obsessed about it all morning.  By the grace of God, I recalled a few other times she had vomited like this and felt fine afterward.  She never came down with a virus either of those times.  And in those instances she had vomited so much that it looked more like a horror movie than a three year old getting sick.  Both times were at parties at our house where I had assumed that she had just eaten too much junk food.  Both times it sent our guests running for the door, afraid to catch whatever bug would make a three year old explode at the dinner table.  As I thought about these, I recalled that on at least one these occasions, my dad had given her peanuts from the shell.  I now wondered if it may have been an allergic reaction.  She had never had hives after eating them, or at least not that I had noticed.  I had never heard of vomiting as an allergic reaction.  I googled it, of course, and learned that stomach upset can be a sign.  

My solution was to call the doctor the following Monday and ask them what Benedryl dose to give the next time she accidentally had peanuts.  Today I still laugh at my casual solution!  I was so uncharacteristically laid back about the whole thing.  I am sooo thankful that my doctor set me right!  I can still hear the nurse responding, "Ummmm....we need to see your daughter TODAY.  The next time she ingests peanuts she could go into anaphylactic shock and die. Every reaction is different.  You never know what's going tohappen"  What??  Die?? From peanuts??  Even though she just vomited the last time?? Why would her body trick us like that??

So, in a little bit of shock myself, we traveled to the doc.  They gave us an epi-pen and referred us to an allergist at the research-rich University of Michigan Food Allergy Clinic. They could see us in in four months.  I couldn't wait that long for obvious reasons and found someone at St. Joe's.  The tests, both skin and blood, confirmed the suspicion and also indicated an allergy to some tree nuts.  And our journey began.  

I'll write next time about that appointment, for the mommas who have one scheduled.  And I'll share the priceless information we've learned about this deadly allergy since then.

On an important side note, discussion in my No Nuts Moms Group about Natalie Giorgi's death has yielded some important changes to how we will respond if Izzy ever eats a peanut or tree nut.  We won't wait for a reaction.  We will just stick her immediately with the epi-pen and take her to the hospital.  Time is of the essence.  Once a reaction has progressed too far, even epinephrine can't stop it.  We are going to try to head it off at the pass.  And there will be uneducated nurses and doctors, and perhaps others, who roll their eyes and think we overreacted.  But, thank God, there are wise allergists out there who have advised moms to give the epi pre-symptom.  And when the others roll their eyes, I'll look over at my daughter sitting next to me, healthy and well, and I won't care one bit what they think.  

Unsubscribing, and Sleep Update

Jonah and his "sealy"-- the toy that Jeff has had since he was a wee babe.  His mom, Sharon, actually carried it around like it was a baby before Jeff's younger brother Greg was born.  She's not crazy:) She did it so that Jeff could used to be a new baby being on the scene.  So cool to see Jonah playing with his daddy's childhood toy (I'm sure it's not the last toy of daddy's with which he'll play...lol).  Love that in the last pic he has no idea where the seal has gone- even though he's the one who tossed it over his back! :)

First, I just wanted to let folks know that there is probably a way to unsubscribe to this blog if you don't want to receive updates.  I see that only one person has viewed the last post, so I imagine most people have figured that out :)   The last several posts have been mostly about sleep, in hopes that maybe another suffering momma while stumble upon them and not feel so alone (or inadequate- I can relate to that!).  I also originally thought maybe develop some insight into these sleep issues, but I'm not so sure that I have discovered any.

I did follow my "Addie plan" and Jonah went down to nap faithfully on time with just a few minutes of tears.  But those tears, I suspect, caused incredible fear of the crib :(  At night (ALL night) he would fight with all of his almost-one year old energy to stay awake and to definitely at least wake the second his sweet little cheek hit the crib sheet.  And he didn't just whimper, he screamed and stood up, hysterical.  Breaks my heart.  And it nearly broke my sanity (and Jeff's too) from 2 am to 4:30 am the other night!  

So, yesterday, I retreated.  After much prayer, I decided to not let him cry.  When he cried at nap time I put him in the baby carrier on my back.  He stayed awake playfully and happily past his morning nap.  In the afternoon Jeff rocked him down while I was grocery shopping and he slept for two hours.  In the evening Jeff rocked him down again (the squirmer has to be held up and rocked for a bit and Jeff's upper body strength can outlast me:).  During his three night time wake-ups I nursed and rocked him and he went peacefully back down in the crib all but once.  And that time he only woke several minutes after being laid down (Jeff came to my rescue on that one again!).  

So, where do we stand now?  I dunno.  I'm stumped.  I think my tolerance for my baby's crying it out in a crib has returned to zero.  But I desire him to be a good napper.  And I can't hold him and sway forever (heck, I can hardly do it now- the kids is 21 pounds!).  I may get a mattress so that I can lay down and nurse him off to sleep at least at night.  I'll have to lock the closet and take everything out of that room though for safety.  I'm not sure.  It's a stumper.  But I am praying.  And I do believe God cares immensely and will respond.  He is good.  

On a soap box note, I don't believe that God designed the world to be like this.  Tired, sleepless parents.  I really do believe we were meant to live in tight-knit community (I mean, multi-generational homes with cousins and grandparents, etc).  I think that we're meant to have several people holding and caring for these needy wee ones throughout the day.  I think it was designed so that we would have that kind of support.  This article describes it well.

Anyway, I'll add some updates as life goes on- on sleep and other topics as I'm inspired. Mostly, I'm just buckling down for a long year ahead! :)  I look at Addie, going to bed peacefully at nap and bedtime, and I give a little thanks knowing that this sleepless time with Jonah won't last forever :)  And I'll try to get enough rest to cherish the time as well :)

Apologies for typos...too tired to proof read today and gotta go to work (from home)!

Sleep issues, babe number three- Let the games begin!

Our youngest son, Zeke, is almost a year old.  Time flies!  He has been sleeping well (my definition of well is napping at about the same time daily, two naps and sleeping eleven hours with wakeups for nursing).  I think some moms may not agree with my definition of "sleeping well" including nighttime wake-ups, but I've decided my babies are genuinely hungry and need that connection at least once a night.  Zeke wakes two to four times a night but goes right back to sleep usually-- not fun but something I've decided I can tolerate.

What I don't do well with is when the tots won't go to sleep without much protest.  Zeke has been nursing peacefully to sleep and then taking a good nap twice a day for quite awhile now.  It's been great.  I knew it couldn't last forever, but I've been in a if-it's-not-broke-don't-fix-it mode.  And it's a lovely peaceful time to sit and nurse him peacefully off to sleep.  But that has all changed lately.

The same thing happened with Juanita.  I recall that at the minute she learned to walk, instead of drifting off after her bottle, she would sit up and try to climb off of my lap.  What?!  Yesterday, with Zeke on my lap nursing, I was the one who fell asleep in the chair.  Then I was awakened by a slap to the face from him.  He then arched his back and tried to roll to the floor to carry on his day!  My peaceful baby snuggle moments are dwindling away.

I've put him in his crib in this state a few times and he's cried for just a couple minutes.  But now the protest time is increasing; he's crying harder and for longer.  I think he's genuinely scared.  I mean, it's all new to be left in a dark room awake and alone.  What baby expects that all is well when that happens?

So, I was happy to come upon this post about Grace's sleep.  Grace naps so.well.now.  The girl ASKS to go to bed when she is tired (usually about 11 am or so).  She smiles the whole way to bed and relief spreads across her face as she settles into bed.  She wakes up with new energy for the rest of her adventurous two-year-old day.  I'm so thankful for this and happy for her.  I can only hope for this for Zeke too.  Well, hope and plan.

So, I'm going to start waking him at the same time daily (trying to stretch him to six am).  He's a classic overly tired baby...wakiing too early (5:30), easily cranky, napping too late, bedtime too late.  I hope that I can turn this around by creating a bit of a new bedtime routine, some sleep cues (a lovey perhaps?, some music?), some play time in crib during non-sleep time, and most importantly, putting him down before he's overly tired.  Exhaustion will not be the sleep aid from now on.  It's so true that it causes more crying than going to bed on time!

So I'm going to follow the suggestions in the post I wrote about Grace's sleep.  I'm not sure what will happen.  Did I luck out with Grace?  Will Zeke protest more?

As with Grace, I will not have him crying it out alone in his room.  I'll follow the same rule of thumb I did with Grace, up to ten minutes of whimpering protests is ok- but frightened cries, or longer cries and I'll jump in and get him and we'll carry on with our day until the next nap.  We'll see how it goes!  Oh, and I will PRAY!!!  God has designed how babies sleep and He has the most wisdom on this subject!  I felt He answered my prayer with Grace, and believe He'll give me wisdom with Jonah. too. :)

I'll keep ya posted!