Sleep issues, babe number three- Let the games begin!

Our youngest son, Zeke, is almost a year old.  Time flies!  He has been sleeping well (my definition of well is napping at about the same time daily, two naps and sleeping eleven hours with wakeups for nursing).  I think some moms may not agree with my definition of "sleeping well" including nighttime wake-ups, but I've decided my babies are genuinely hungry and need that connection at least once a night.  Zeke wakes two to four times a night but goes right back to sleep usually-- not fun but something I've decided I can tolerate.

What I don't do well with is when the tots won't go to sleep without much protest.  Zeke has been nursing peacefully to sleep and then taking a good nap twice a day for quite awhile now.  It's been great.  I knew it couldn't last forever, but I've been in a if-it's-not-broke-don't-fix-it mode.  And it's a lovely peaceful time to sit and nurse him peacefully off to sleep.  But that has all changed lately.

The same thing happened with Juanita.  I recall that at the minute she learned to walk, instead of drifting off after her bottle, she would sit up and try to climb off of my lap.  What?!  Yesterday, with Zeke on my lap nursing, I was the one who fell asleep in the chair.  Then I was awakened by a slap to the face from him.  He then arched his back and tried to roll to the floor to carry on his day!  My peaceful baby snuggle moments are dwindling away.

I've put him in his crib in this state a few times and he's cried for just a couple minutes.  But now the protest time is increasing; he's crying harder and for longer.  I think he's genuinely scared.  I mean, it's all new to be left in a dark room awake and alone.  What baby expects that all is well when that happens?

So, I was happy to come upon this post about Grace's sleep.  Grace naps so.well.now.  The girl ASKS to go to bed when she is tired (usually about 11 am or so).  She smiles the whole way to bed and relief spreads across her face as she settles into bed.  She wakes up with new energy for the rest of her adventurous two-year-old day.  I'm so thankful for this and happy for her.  I can only hope for this for Zeke too.  Well, hope and plan.

So, I'm going to start waking him at the same time daily (trying to stretch him to six am).  He's a classic overly tired baby...wakiing too early (5:30), easily cranky, napping too late, bedtime too late.  I hope that I can turn this around by creating a bit of a new bedtime routine, some sleep cues (a lovey perhaps?, some music?), some play time in crib during non-sleep time, and most importantly, putting him down before he's overly tired.  Exhaustion will not be the sleep aid from now on.  It's so true that it causes more crying than going to bed on time!

So I'm going to follow the suggestions in the post I wrote about Grace's sleep.  I'm not sure what will happen.  Did I luck out with Grace?  Will Zeke protest more?

As with Grace, I will not have him crying it out alone in his room.  I'll follow the same rule of thumb I did with Grace, up to ten minutes of whimpering protests is ok- but frightened cries, or longer cries and I'll jump in and get him and we'll carry on with our day until the next nap.  We'll see how it goes!  Oh, and I will PRAY!!!  God has designed how babies sleep and He has the most wisdom on this subject!  I felt He answered my prayer with Grace, and believe He'll give me wisdom with Jonah. too. :)

I'll keep ya posted!

Timing the naps perfectly

Yesterday was perfect.  I felt it was a bit of, again, a miracle.  Addie went down for her 1st nap within an hour of getting up at 6am.  She slept an hour and then needed to go back down within an hour.  This meant that both of her two naps were over by 10:45 am.  We wrote off that first nap as her basically just going back to bed since she had had a rather rough night because I had put her to bed overtired.  I had nursed her to sleep but she woke hourly due to being in that overtired state.  The blessing in all of this was that her second nap (technically her third) could happen at a more normal time-- about 1 pm. 

She took the 1pm nap and then also a one hour nap at 4:30.  This 4:30 nap was needed.  I get the feeling that she will fall into the 16% of six month olds that need this late afternoon shut eye. 

She was playing happily until bedtime.  I tried to put her down at 7:45 but she cried.  So I brought her down because I figured the cry was more about the bedtime being too early rather than too late.  Then I took her up at 8:15 and laid down with her.  She nursed and then drifted off to sleep.  And boy did she sleep!

She woke at 10:45 and I crawled into bed with her for the night.  Then she only nursed one more time, I think, all night until she woke at about 6:30 am.  Perfect!

It all went fabulously.  I'm convinced that getting her to bed BEFORE she's too tired is the absolute key to avoiding crying.

That being said...today sucks so far.  Today I thought I would try to stretch her morning wakeful period a little longer-- in hopes of getting it closer to two hours.  She was sucking her fingers but still a bit interested in her surroundings.  Also, she hadn't made any fussy sounds.  So after an hour and a half of being up I bundled her up and took her up.   She cried after a couple minutes so I headed back up and nursed her to be sure she was full.  I saw a big yawn and glossy eyes.  She's tired, right?  I laid her back down and she is currently upstairs crying (I'm crying too, in the basement). 

I'm turning it around in my head.  I'm confused.  Did I put her down too early?  That just can't be, right?  She yawned.  That's the beginning of the really sleepy stage.  She had been sucking her fingers for at least a half an hour.  I just don't know.  If I had to guess, I would say, based on how long she has stayed up after waking the past four days that she is tired.  The only glitch is that last night was the best night's sleep she's had in awhile.  But then again, she went to sleep at 8:30 and woke at 6:30am.  So, really, I'm pretty sure I kept her up too long.  I was in the middle of cooking my husband's birthday breakfast and paid as much attention toher every move as I could while not burning his food (which I still did, by the way). 

So, the inevitable has happened.  The tears.  I knew in the back of my head that something would eventually interfere with getting Addie down before she was overtired.  And, to avoid wrecking her entire schedule and having an overly tired baby, I would need to let her be and let her cry.  I knew it.  And so it is.

So it's my mess up.  And she's paying for it.  Almost half an hour of crying so far.  I'm not sure I can or should keep going.  I'm going to go the full hour.  Because I really trust Dr Marc.  It seems strange to trust a stranger that wrote a book, I know.  But I also know that my baby who napped 25-40 minutes a day now naps 3-4 hours a day and had her first good sleep in ages last night.  And I know that if I go up now I'm going to mess up the week of getting this girl on a schedule.  And by mess up, I mean FURTHER mess up, as my first mistake was having her get overtired.

This is all live and learn.  I'm going to try the full hour cry that Dr Marc suggests.  I may regret it and never do it again.  I may never have to do it again.  The handful of trusted friends who let their babies cry said it happened maybe a day or two.  Ugh.  I feel literally physically sick at that thought!  I need to stop thinking about that.  I can survive this one hour.  Addie can survive it.  I'm not sure what the rest of the day holds though. 

I know this can be done without tears.  At least for one day.  If this cry doesn't correct the schedule that we worked so hard to get to then I will have to go back to square one.  And try it again.  With no more tears perhaps.

I gotta go pray.