Toddler Bully?

Tomorrow is our last day of tot class for this semester. I'm dreading it somewhat. Here's why...

I didn't realize there was such a thing as toddler "bullying". Preschool maybe, but toddler?! I don't want to label Tommy permanently as a bully, but I'm afraid that is his behavior that I will most remember about him.

Last Thursday in our Mommy and Me class, Tommy pushed Izzy. It wasn't your average push. He locked his sights on her and charged. She ran. I tried to intercept but didn't make it in time. Izzy was slammed into a wall. And I was facing Tommy and said, quite firmly, "That's unacceptable!". And by firmly, i mean it was almost a yell. It wasn't an ideal response, but it was mild compared to how my mama bear instincts wanted to respond. (think Kung-Fu ninja)

It seems we are moving into the age where Izzy's peers aren't as sweet as they used to be, and I'm really struggling with how to react. I absolutely don't blame the kids, or even the parents in most cases. Kids will be kids. They are learning. But Tommy's mom just doesn't seem to care, which drives me nuts. I can't tell other parents what to do (and believe me, I have a litany of ideas for this particular mom!). So I'm left with the only thing that I can control: how I respond. In theory, anyway.

The teacher and another mom gave me a great tip, though. Teach Izzy how to put her hand out and say STOP! They said it usually alarms the attacker enough that they stop and give me time to intervene. Also, it gives Izzy back some power.

And that's what I really want. She's going to run into this so much (and sometimes she'll be the offender). I want her to not feel the victim.

We went home and re-enacted the scene with Stuffed animals. When Curious George told Mickey the Moose, "Stop Tommy!" Izzy went over to the moose and said "it's okay, Tommy.". She did that in class too. At the end of class she brought Tommy a toy.

I've pondered that a lot since that class. I ultimately want her to remain the loving, empathetic girl that she is.

I hope I can be that forgiving at our next class .