Well, as usual, it's been ages since I've blogged! I would love to do it more often but it's so hard to just settle down and write. I have a new blog in the works that I may begin after Jonah is born. For now, I thought I would send out an update on how the girls are doing. Just a reminder that I'm using substitute names for privacy :)
We are eagerly awaiting baby boy's arrival! Well, I'm more anxious than eager :) Juanita is eager, often talking about baby Zeke...and when she will hold him. She is very concerned about how loud he will be. Grace wasn't loud but I think Juanita picked up that idea from a book that she read. Every once in awhile she'll say out of the blue, "I know! I have a good idea! I'll cover my ears when baby Zeke is loud!" Too cute!
I'm pretty sure Grace will just feel like she was hit by a semi-truck upon the arrival of Zeke. There's just no way to prepare an 18 month old! There was hardly a very effective way of adequately preparing Juanita when she was two. But Grace will adapt and I'm sure will follow Juanita's lead that all is well. She mimics Juanita regularly now. Nini will say something assertively, a request or something of that nature. Grace will mimic it in her toddler Chinese, clearly having no idea what she's demanding. It cracks us all up, including Nini. In fact, we are regularly entertained by Grace right now. She regularly entertains us with toddler somersault attempts, headstands, etc each night before bed.
Nini begins preschool in three weeks. She seems cautiously optimistic about it. I guess that describes how I feel too. We've been discovering that her peanut allergy extends to cross-contaminated foods that one would never think could contain nuts (cheese snacks or ice cream that came in contact at the manufacturing plants). So I'm relieved to at least know that the preschool teacher is peanut and tree nut allergic too. In fact her allergy began just like Nini's. As a child she had somewhat moderate reactions and eventually one exposure became life threatening (this is what the the allergist explained could happen with Nini if she is exposed to peanuts). So Ms Teacher is very aware of the seriousness and how to respond if Nini does ingest peanuts or something contaminated with them. That is a relief. I can't express how strange or stressful this peanut allergy thing has been. We've learned some things the hard way. It weighs on me regularly to see food as an enemy that could seriously harm my daughter. I feel offended by the very existence of things like pb & j, annoyed by the lack of information the public has, and frustrated by the amount of label reading and caution I need to take. The irony is that I am the type of person who is quite "overly" cautious. Ironically, I have proven not to be cautious enough when it comes to her allergy. But we are learning quickly thanks to folks like the No Nuts Moms Group on Facebook.
So, I digress...anyway, preschool begins in September. We found a school with small classes and affordable non-coop rates. It's technically a co-op but we'll pay a little more so that I don't have to volunteer. We'll still have a few jobs / assist days each year, but I won't have to be there in class 2-3 times per month. I would love to be, but it's just too much with Grace and Zeke too. Tomorrow we head over to the preschool to play on the playground to make it more familiar to Nini. We already did a two-week trial that Addie was able to attend, too. Nini liked it (and so did Grace- she would love to go too!)
I've been soaking up the time with our current family as we wait for Zeke. I'm excited to meet him, but part of me just wants to hit the pause button on the remote control of life. I just want to absorb and cherish this time with Jeff and I and the girls. I know change is coming. It will be part challenge as Zeke's birth coincides with Jeff's return to school and Kiki's return to school and sports (unless we can somehow sabotage her volleyball try-outs, as we've been plotting to:). Each time I've dug down deep into the ground of my worries, God has provided reassurance that He will provide for our "new" family and that I can handle it. Recently, we were blessed to make an arrangement with a friend of the family to watch their middle schooler after school in exchange for him being a mommy's helper. He has two younger sisters as well, and is just a well-rounded, sweet kid. I feel so blessed that we'll have his arrival to look forward to each school day. It will help us all stay a little saner / calmer and will give him somewhere to be after school until his parents get out of work. Yup, God is good.
So that's what is going on with us. Today is my last day of summer office hours. I've passed my new licensing exam. (Yay!) Now all we have to do is rearrange some car seats, move a crib, and get some dresser drawers organized. And then we sit back, soak up the last days of summer and wait!
I hope you and yours are all enjoying this summer!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Happy Birthday Izzy
Izzy's birthday is coming up soon. I can't believe the time that has gone by. It's just a few years, but it feels like a decade!
This age is SO.MUCH.FUN! I can't get enough of it! This summer a shift took place and suddenly Izzy was telling me about things that had happened during the day. Previously she mentioned wants (cracker, mom! milkie!), hurts (got a boo-boo!), or greetings (hi dad, bye gramma). Then one night as we snuggled in her bed to read (snuggling is new too) she told me, "Allie the cat, hurt hand. Hit hair." She described a minor assault by my mom's cat the week earlier after Izzy lovingly cornered Allie to give her some quite undesired attention. Allie bit her hand gently and swatted her in the head with her claw-free paw. All week long I heard about the crime committed by "Allie the cat". Izzy spoke of it more as a triumph than an insult. She thought it was cool and loved retelling the story to me. So began our conversations about events of the day.
Izzy contributes such joy and wonder to my days. Her imagination has bloomed this year. She lives to be dressed up. Whether it's her purple boots that transform her into an "Adel" when she puts them on her hands and crawls around bellowing like an elephant, or simply putting on her beloved lion costume she affectionately calls "tiger". She has spent literally almost every day for two months wearing that costume for part or all of the day! The latest development is Dr. Izzy. She has assembled a doctor's bag (a lunch cooler) of various doctor implements (measuring cups and spoons, turkey baster, etc) that are used to take my temperature or administer shots to which I am requested to respond with an "Ow".
She has grown into a loving sister. One of my joys of life is seeing she and Addie sit across the dinner table and laugh together, usually at something Izzy is doing (pretending to sneeze is a favorite of Addie's). It's true hilarity. When Addie cries, Izzy has learned that she can sometimes be distracted by a toy or a book, and she knows and seeks out Addie's favorites. This touches my heart. I prayed for sisterly affection, and I really feel that the prayer was answered. Of course, there are still bumps in that road, but for the most part, she's a keeper of her sister and I'm sure will become a protector as well.
I could go on. I don't have the time or energy (unfortunately) to detail the daily wonders that come from watching this sweet little girl. I adore her and am so very thankful to God for putting her in our family. Thankful that He is entrusting me with the incredible responsibility of taking care of her and guiding her as she blooms into the wonderful flower He has designed her to become. I pray I can do the watering and provide the fertile soil for growth. I pray that I can then stand back and let her grow on her own. I thank Him that each year I see more of that flower unfold, showing her beautiful colors, shining in the sun and brightening the world around her. Let your light shine, Izzy. Happy Birthday, sweetie.
This age is SO.MUCH.FUN! I can't get enough of it! This summer a shift took place and suddenly Izzy was telling me about things that had happened during the day. Previously she mentioned wants (cracker, mom! milkie!), hurts (got a boo-boo!), or greetings (hi dad, bye gramma). Then one night as we snuggled in her bed to read (snuggling is new too) she told me, "Allie the cat, hurt hand. Hit hair." She described a minor assault by my mom's cat the week earlier after Izzy lovingly cornered Allie to give her some quite undesired attention. Allie bit her hand gently and swatted her in the head with her claw-free paw. All week long I heard about the crime committed by "Allie the cat". Izzy spoke of it more as a triumph than an insult. She thought it was cool and loved retelling the story to me. So began our conversations about events of the day.
Izzy contributes such joy and wonder to my days. Her imagination has bloomed this year. She lives to be dressed up. Whether it's her purple boots that transform her into an "Adel" when she puts them on her hands and crawls around bellowing like an elephant, or simply putting on her beloved lion costume she affectionately calls "tiger". She has spent literally almost every day for two months wearing that costume for part or all of the day! The latest development is Dr. Izzy. She has assembled a doctor's bag (a lunch cooler) of various doctor implements (measuring cups and spoons, turkey baster, etc) that are used to take my temperature or administer shots to which I am requested to respond with an "Ow".
She has grown into a loving sister. One of my joys of life is seeing she and Addie sit across the dinner table and laugh together, usually at something Izzy is doing (pretending to sneeze is a favorite of Addie's). It's true hilarity. When Addie cries, Izzy has learned that she can sometimes be distracted by a toy or a book, and she knows and seeks out Addie's favorites. This touches my heart. I prayed for sisterly affection, and I really feel that the prayer was answered. Of course, there are still bumps in that road, but for the most part, she's a keeper of her sister and I'm sure will become a protector as well.
I could go on. I don't have the time or energy (unfortunately) to detail the daily wonders that come from watching this sweet little girl. I adore her and am so very thankful to God for putting her in our family. Thankful that He is entrusting me with the incredible responsibility of taking care of her and guiding her as she blooms into the wonderful flower He has designed her to become. I pray I can do the watering and provide the fertile soil for growth. I pray that I can then stand back and let her grow on her own. I thank Him that each year I see more of that flower unfold, showing her beautiful colors, shining in the sun and brightening the world around her. Let your light shine, Izzy. Happy Birthday, sweetie.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Addie Update
It just occurred to me yesterday that Addie closer to age one than zero. How did this happen? Can that be right? It is. She is a week shy of eight months old! Just that number is shocking to me.
Addie is adjusting well to the world. She's smiling a lot of the time. Her favorite thing, besides being held, is sitting up by herself on the floor and playing with toys. She absolutely hates being on her belly, just like Izzy did. I think, like Izzy, Addie has a wee bit of reflux and it just doesn't feel good to be flat on her belly. So she sits upright with the most perfect posture that I wish I could emulate. She bends nearly in half like a yoga pro to grab the toys around her. She could sit there for half an hour doing that. I love seeing her at play like that. She looks so confident and comfortable in her skin. If Izzy is nearby she looks up on occasion to check to see what Izzy is up to (sometimes this is more of a self-defense move than mere curiosity!).
The sisters get along fabulously for the most part. After 3pm, when Izzy is a bit tired, I keep a closer than usual eye on them. Usually Addie is placed on higher ground during these evening hours. In the early day Izzy delivers toys to her sister and gives hugs and kisses. Later in the day Izzy looks at her and I suspect thinks, "I'm getting sort of tired of her. It would be pretty funny to see her tip over." Ah, such is life with two littles.
I'm so eager to see them play together when they are older! Right now some of the sweetest moments are when they look at each other and both giggle. I love to see that connection! One of my most cherished relationships is with my sister and I'm so very happy that they have that.
Sometimes my heart breaks for Addie as she looks longingly at what Izzy is doing and I can tell she wants in on it. I can see that in the same way I was a primary influence for Izzy, she is going to be one for Addie. That gaze of Addie's just follows her and I can see the wheels turning, perhaps thinking, "I want to do that too! How can I get my hands on that toy?" It's going to be interesting once Addie is mobile and can follow up those desires with action! I have a feeling this book is going to be great help in days to come!
Yup, it's hard to believe time has flown by so fast. It's strange to see Addie drinking water from a sippy cup and knowing that soon her backwards floor scoot will be a forward crawl- or maybe she'll go straight to walking to keep up with Izzy? It's both strange and wonderful. I wish I had a pause button so I could soak up every little second and not let it go by too fast! I guess I just have to work some pauses into every day and cherish them!
Hope you all are doing well.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
What has helped Addie nap better, courtesy of Dr Weissbluth
So here is a brief summary of where we were and what got us to where we are.
Addie did not nap. She "passed out" for 25 minutes at a time, about twice a day. So we read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and did the following steps based on instructions from the book....
To summarize, the key for us was to, especially at first, get her in bed at the beginning of her sleepy signals. That seemed to result in the least amount of protest. It was counter-intuitive to me because I used to think the more tired she was the easier she would go down-- but it's quite the opposite, just like Dr Weissbluth explains.
Addie did not nap. She "passed out" for 25 minutes at a time, about twice a day. So we read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and did the following steps based on instructions from the book....
- Wake up Addie at 7 am. This helps establish some regularity and gets her close to a schedule that works with baby's natural nap times, 9 am and 1 pm.
- Make the room bright and full of sunshine. This helps baby set this on her internal clock as "awake" time, thus helping her realize it's different than sleep time.
- Put her down for first nap within one to two hours of wake up time. In the beginning, she seemed to need to go down within an hour of getting up. I suspect this was because of being overly tired and needing to catch up on rest. Now it's closer to two hours.
- When deciding when to put her down I watched her sleep signals more than the clock. The clock gave me a rough idea of when she might be tired, but then I watched her. She gets quiet, moves less, and sucks her fingers when she begins to get tired. The next stage includes being agitated, especially when I walk away from her. She also may start to get noisy again, in a sort of yelling way. If I miss all these signs she gets sort of frantic, moving about a lot and getting a nervous but smiley laugh / cry thing going. Poor baby.
- Put her down for her second nap within two to three hours of waking for the first one. This is almost always within two hours for her.
- Before all naps I nurse her and swaddle her legs and put a light sleep sack on over her. I do the sack partly for warmth but also in case she gets herself unswaddled-- then the swaddle is caught in the sack and not out for her to wrap around her head.
- Put her down for an optional third nap around 4:30 - 5:30-ish. This carries her through until bedtime at 8pm (or so I think-- we are still trying to sort this out).
- The entire while I keep a sleep log to help figure out what works for her.
To summarize, the key for us was to, especially at first, get her in bed at the beginning of her sleepy signals. That seemed to result in the least amount of protest. It was counter-intuitive to me because I used to think the more tired she was the easier she would go down-- but it's quite the opposite, just like Dr Weissbluth explains.
God Grant Me the Serenity...
..to accept the things I can't change. Courage, to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.
That's been my prayer for awhile, and more so lately with this sleep stuff. We've hit a bit of a crossroads.
Naps are great (knock on wood!). Addie has two naps-- one at about 8:30, the second at about 12:30. Both last an hour and forty-five minutes to sometimes over two hours. A third nap seems to be needed and when that happens she naps about 45 minutes to an hour. So, she naps about a total of at least four hours a day. The nap pattern coincides with what Dr Weissbluth said about some kids needing more naps than others, a mix of short and long naps.
Bedtimes have been hard to figure out. We tried skipping that third nap and putting her to bed when our toddler goes down, about six pm. But no matter what naps have happened that day, no matter what combo or length of naps, she wakes every forty minutes or so if we put her to bed before 8pm. My mom says this is because 6-10 pm is considered babies "social hour". They just seem to be programmed to want to stay awake. There seems to be some truth to that in our case. So right now we are focusing on making sure that third nap happens, even if it's as late as 5:30. Then when she wakes we are bringing her downstairs until between 8 and 8:30pm. Every time she goes down around that time she stays asleep at least 2-3 hours. I even crawled into bed without waking her at all last night.
The glitch is that between 7 and 8 last night she seemed really tired. Also, at 4 am she did her usual wake up and want to stay awake talking and such. Fortunately I just had her nurse some more and then she fell off back to sleep.
The crossroads I'm at is having tried all that I can to make nighttime rest a bit more, uh, restful. I really don't want to let her cry. I tried it for a bit and it made me sick to do it. That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever consider it. I would be willing to try it briefly if we really needed to in order to help her establish a pattern that gives her the rest that she needs.
So that's the question. Is she getting enough nighttime sleep? I'm going to continue on for a week or so and make that third nap a regular occurrence, and keep her up until 8pm after that. We'll see how it goes. I'm also going to ask the pediatrician today what she thinks. I'm also going to continue to go to bed early because when I'm unhappy from nightwakings I generally, albeit inadvertantly, spread my less-than-joyful mood to the rest of the family.
So that's where we are. I'm going to write a quick summary today in a separate post about what HAS worked from the HSHHC book. Mostly because of an online poster who is experiencing a similiar problem with sleep deprivation in her eight month old. I hope sharing this helps a bit!
That's been my prayer for awhile, and more so lately with this sleep stuff. We've hit a bit of a crossroads.
Naps are great (knock on wood!). Addie has two naps-- one at about 8:30, the second at about 12:30. Both last an hour and forty-five minutes to sometimes over two hours. A third nap seems to be needed and when that happens she naps about 45 minutes to an hour. So, she naps about a total of at least four hours a day. The nap pattern coincides with what Dr Weissbluth said about some kids needing more naps than others, a mix of short and long naps.
Bedtimes have been hard to figure out. We tried skipping that third nap and putting her to bed when our toddler goes down, about six pm. But no matter what naps have happened that day, no matter what combo or length of naps, she wakes every forty minutes or so if we put her to bed before 8pm. My mom says this is because 6-10 pm is considered babies "social hour". They just seem to be programmed to want to stay awake. There seems to be some truth to that in our case. So right now we are focusing on making sure that third nap happens, even if it's as late as 5:30. Then when she wakes we are bringing her downstairs until between 8 and 8:30pm. Every time she goes down around that time she stays asleep at least 2-3 hours. I even crawled into bed without waking her at all last night.
The glitch is that between 7 and 8 last night she seemed really tired. Also, at 4 am she did her usual wake up and want to stay awake talking and such. Fortunately I just had her nurse some more and then she fell off back to sleep.
The crossroads I'm at is having tried all that I can to make nighttime rest a bit more, uh, restful. I really don't want to let her cry. I tried it for a bit and it made me sick to do it. That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever consider it. I would be willing to try it briefly if we really needed to in order to help her establish a pattern that gives her the rest that she needs.
So that's the question. Is she getting enough nighttime sleep? I'm going to continue on for a week or so and make that third nap a regular occurrence, and keep her up until 8pm after that. We'll see how it goes. I'm also going to ask the pediatrician today what she thinks. I'm also going to continue to go to bed early because when I'm unhappy from nightwakings I generally, albeit inadvertantly, spread my less-than-joyful mood to the rest of the family.
So that's where we are. I'm going to write a quick summary today in a separate post about what HAS worked from the HSHHC book. Mostly because of an online poster who is experiencing a similiar problem with sleep deprivation in her eight month old. I hope sharing this helps a bit!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
She's come undone
Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but that's how it feels. I haven't been following this Weissbluth Method exactly. I've been doing my best to get Addie down before she's overly tired and just hoping I don't have to let her cry at all. Well, there's been more tears since Friday. Last night I knew she had to be tired so put her to bed early-- no luck. This girl doesn't want to go to bed before 8pm. She took a one hour nap and awoke at 7:30. The next two hours were a mix of letting her cry, me crying and considering giving the children up for adoption because I feel like a terrible mom, and comforting her. Finally around 9:30 I went to bed held her and she was asleep in thirty seconds. She would only stay alseep if I stayed with her. I was so exhausted that I went to sleep too. The rest of the night was fairly typical, but with a few more wakeup than usual.
Today the morning started at 6 am. I put her down at the very first sign of fatigue-- knowing that she hadn't had much sleep last night and she had gotten up on the early side of normal. She didn't want to go to sleep. She cried. And cried. I finally got her up, played with her and then watched her yawn and get glossy eyed and start to get fussy. I put her down at 8:30 and she cried for a couple minutes and then took her overtired typical 25 minute not-really-a-nap nap. Ugh.
Right now I'm following the book and allowing her to cry for another 30 minutes. I'm terrible, right?
I feel like I've been on the fence. Trying to do the program without really doing the program. But what if it doesn't work, I let her cry and then she starts to hate her bed, or sleeps worse? When we started, it really couldn't get worse as far as nap times go.
Now I feel I know when she is tired. There's no doubt. I'm putting her down with a know she's tired. I know this because I've written down every nap for a week. So I also know when she's overtired. The problem is, when she's overtired, what am I willing to do about it?
Right now, my brain is shot. I'm tired. I'm rather depressed. And I feel like a horrible mom in general.
I may just go with the Weissbluth method and try it full force. For naps, at least. I'm going to comfort at bedtime because nighttime sleep is regulated by a different part of the brain than nap sleep. So one won't mess up the other. I have the luxury of comforting her more at night. Once Jeff returns to work and it's me with a toddler and baby I don't have that luxury. Even if I did, it didn't work to keep her asleep. It only got her to sleep.
I can't go back to having her nap 40 minutes a day. It's not healthy. I know at least that for sure.
I'm doubting everything else. But I know that for sure.
Today the morning started at 6 am. I put her down at the very first sign of fatigue-- knowing that she hadn't had much sleep last night and she had gotten up on the early side of normal. She didn't want to go to sleep. She cried. And cried. I finally got her up, played with her and then watched her yawn and get glossy eyed and start to get fussy. I put her down at 8:30 and she cried for a couple minutes and then took her overtired typical 25 minute not-really-a-nap nap. Ugh.
Right now I'm following the book and allowing her to cry for another 30 minutes. I'm terrible, right?
I feel like I've been on the fence. Trying to do the program without really doing the program. But what if it doesn't work, I let her cry and then she starts to hate her bed, or sleeps worse? When we started, it really couldn't get worse as far as nap times go.
Now I feel I know when she is tired. There's no doubt. I'm putting her down with a know she's tired. I know this because I've written down every nap for a week. So I also know when she's overtired. The problem is, when she's overtired, what am I willing to do about it?
Right now, my brain is shot. I'm tired. I'm rather depressed. And I feel like a horrible mom in general.
I may just go with the Weissbluth method and try it full force. For naps, at least. I'm going to comfort at bedtime because nighttime sleep is regulated by a different part of the brain than nap sleep. So one won't mess up the other. I have the luxury of comforting her more at night. Once Jeff returns to work and it's me with a toddler and baby I don't have that luxury. Even if I did, it didn't work to keep her asleep. It only got her to sleep.
I can't go back to having her nap 40 minutes a day. It's not healthy. I know at least that for sure.
I'm doubting everything else. But I know that for sure.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
D is for Distraught, Determined and Delighted
Yesterday morning was rough. At the end of my last post Addie was overtired and crying. I ended the post determined to let her cry for another half hour. I published the post. Prayed. And then ran upstairs to get her. So much for determination!
I'm not sure if that was an answered prayer or just the only response I could consider once I was quiet and the distractions ceased. Regardless, it's what I did. I went upstairs and nursed her to sleep. She slept for twenty-five minutes-- her typical nap length when she is overtired. I was disappointed, dismayed, discouraged and a wee hit distraught.
I kept her up until the next nap, which is 2-3 hours after the first nap for most babies, according to Dr Marc. I knew she absolutely had to sleep this time. My determination returned, out of sheer necessity for her to get the sleep she needed.
I had to use this window to go get my husband's birthday meal and dessert. There was no other time to do it. The poor man is so sacrificing and plays second fiddle so often that I couldn't postpone this trip. I knew my daughter needed to sleep and I knew I had to run this one errand.
Without even really thinking it through I told Jeff that he could let her cry until 1:22, one full hour, but to try to listen to when she fell asleep so I would know. I planned to be back within that hour. She had a dry diaper and a full belly.
Izzy and I headed out to the store. I tried to listen to some music in the car to distract me. We went to the restaurant and ordered Jeff's lunch and Lemon Meringue Pie. We played a bit while waiting. I wanted to call home and check in but then I remembered we had turned he ringer off on the phone so as to avoid waking Addie. I considered that maybe that was a good thing. If she was still crying there was nothing I could do from the other side of town. We hopped in the car and headed home. As we got closer, guilt set in. It was the kind of guilt that you feel when you break curfew. It approaches near your return home, and it's the sort of guilt that makes you feel like you really disappointed someone you love.
When we got home Jeff told me the good news. She whined a bit for only eight minutes! Woo hoo! I was thrilled. She was still asleep and continued to nap until after 2 pm, an hour and forty minutes-- the typical length of her "good" naps. I was delighted.
She went down for her third nap with zero protest. It was tricky determining when to put her down for bed and I brought her back down a couple times. Finally when I put her down she yelled once and went back to sleep. I noted that on the earlier attempts that she talked and played for a bit before protesting-- a confirmation that the morning's crying did not leave her scared of her bed-- this had been a concern of mine.
I'm not thrilled I had to leave her to cry. But I'm sort of glad that it happened. It's going to be impossible to get her down to nap before she's overtired every single day, four times a day. I'm aiming for perfect but I know there will be days like yesterday where I miss the signs, or we have to be somewhere during nap time or something wakes her early. I'm glad to know we will survive it.
I'll write some more posts about some of the details of this process soon. I did not follow Dr Marc's crying suggestions but the other material in the book was such a help. I want to write it out to share with other Mommas with tired babies. I thank God for this book that was part of God's loving answer to my desperate prayer.
Here's a picture of the notepad that I used this past week to take notes on every nap. This worked really well and helped a ton when I was considering when to attempt naps. I could look back and see how long she stayed awake between naps earlier in the week.
I'm not sure if that was an answered prayer or just the only response I could consider once I was quiet and the distractions ceased. Regardless, it's what I did. I went upstairs and nursed her to sleep. She slept for twenty-five minutes-- her typical nap length when she is overtired. I was disappointed, dismayed, discouraged and a wee hit distraught.
I kept her up until the next nap, which is 2-3 hours after the first nap for most babies, according to Dr Marc. I knew she absolutely had to sleep this time. My determination returned, out of sheer necessity for her to get the sleep she needed.
I had to use this window to go get my husband's birthday meal and dessert. There was no other time to do it. The poor man is so sacrificing and plays second fiddle so often that I couldn't postpone this trip. I knew my daughter needed to sleep and I knew I had to run this one errand.
Without even really thinking it through I told Jeff that he could let her cry until 1:22, one full hour, but to try to listen to when she fell asleep so I would know. I planned to be back within that hour. She had a dry diaper and a full belly.
Izzy and I headed out to the store. I tried to listen to some music in the car to distract me. We went to the restaurant and ordered Jeff's lunch and Lemon Meringue Pie. We played a bit while waiting. I wanted to call home and check in but then I remembered we had turned he ringer off on the phone so as to avoid waking Addie. I considered that maybe that was a good thing. If she was still crying there was nothing I could do from the other side of town. We hopped in the car and headed home. As we got closer, guilt set in. It was the kind of guilt that you feel when you break curfew. It approaches near your return home, and it's the sort of guilt that makes you feel like you really disappointed someone you love.
When we got home Jeff told me the good news. She whined a bit for only eight minutes! Woo hoo! I was thrilled. She was still asleep and continued to nap until after 2 pm, an hour and forty minutes-- the typical length of her "good" naps. I was delighted.
She went down for her third nap with zero protest. It was tricky determining when to put her down for bed and I brought her back down a couple times. Finally when I put her down she yelled once and went back to sleep. I noted that on the earlier attempts that she talked and played for a bit before protesting-- a confirmation that the morning's crying did not leave her scared of her bed-- this had been a concern of mine.
I'm not thrilled I had to leave her to cry. But I'm sort of glad that it happened. It's going to be impossible to get her down to nap before she's overtired every single day, four times a day. I'm aiming for perfect but I know there will be days like yesterday where I miss the signs, or we have to be somewhere during nap time or something wakes her early. I'm glad to know we will survive it.
I'll write some more posts about some of the details of this process soon. I did not follow Dr Marc's crying suggestions but the other material in the book was such a help. I want to write it out to share with other Mommas with tired babies. I thank God for this book that was part of God's loving answer to my desperate prayer.
Here's a picture of the notepad that I used this past week to take notes on every nap. This worked really well and helped a ton when I was considering when to attempt naps. I could look back and see how long she stayed awake between naps earlier in the week.
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